FASHION

Inner Conversations of a Bride

May 2, 2016

Lehenga: IndianRoots.com (similar here)

Neckpiece: Forever 21

Ring: Street shopping, India (similar here)

As if it’s already not enough that we women deal with objectification on daily basis, but being a bride is a different ball game all together. A bride is judged, critically analyzed, gossiped about and mostly never embraced for being herself. This is my attempt at putting forth the inner conversations of an insecure bride, who is just another target at the society’s idea of perfect and the immense pressure that is thrown at her the moment she announces her wedding.

“She whispered ‘I DO’ to herself, before she walked down the aisle as the gushing bride”

She had imagined this day a million times, she had lived and replayed this moment in her mind, she had visualized twirling in her red wedding gown with a smile that lit up the entire room. But there she stood on her wedding day, staring at herself in the mirror, her eyes spoke of some sadness. She had read innumerable articles on how to look like the perfect bride, how to lose weight for the big day, how to get the instant glow for your special day, she had read and followed them all religiously. She had failed she thought, she was not the perfect bride she wanted to be. ‘The camera adds 5 pounds’, these lines from the magazines echoed in her mind constantly. Only if she could’ve managed to shed those extra kilos, she thought. She knew those articles weren’t going to transform her overnight, yet she wanted to try. Suddenly she didn’t feel like herself, she didn’t have the same confidence that she always had, she wasn’t that girl who once embraced herself and celebrated her beauty, she wasn’t that girl anymore, who took pride in her achievements. Now she was just a bride, just a girl everyone was waiting to see, stare and judge.

She took a picture tucking her stomach in, holding her breath cursing every cheese slice, every burger that she had ever enjoyed. The love handles made her feel disgusted, little did she know that they added to her body the curve every woman envied. She glanced at her dark skin and wished every person came with a filter in their eyes, just like the one on her phone that instantly brightened her face up. The acne marks on her face and body that left her feeling scarred for life, would easily vanish at a double click on the app. When she would slip into her beautiful red lehenga, she wanted to be brimming with happiness and feel like the most beautiful person in the world. But instead she stared at the stretch marks on her waist, that now had made an appearance, the uneven skin tone on her body was now visible to all. She felt a knot in her stomach, as she hoped she could somehow retouch and correct them all out. When she would adorn her beautiful jewelry, her face would glow like the moon she hoped. But instead she frowned at her laugh lines, that looked darker than ever before. They were a testimony to her loud contagious laughter that filled up the room and now she hesitated to even flash a wide smile. The wrinkles under her eyes, that spoke so proudly of the endless hours and nights she spent typing her thesis away, working extra hours at the office and binge watching her favorite shows. They were now just a sign of aging to her that drowned her self respect even deeper.

She kept staring at her self in the mirror, wondering how she can look perfect, just like the way she had seen in the magazines, just like the way the world wanted to see her. As she fell deeper into this thought, her mom stopped by several times to tell her what a beautiful bride she made. Those voices were silenced by the louder noise that she was fighting within herself. Her heart sank deeper into a black dark pit, where she buried her real self. She wanted to be left alone there, a place that had no living soul, that had no ray of sunlight. She felt safe, she felt secure in that place, there were no eyes staring or judging her. She then saw a hand offering to help pull her out. She was surprised at the way those eyes looked at her, no one had ever looked at her that way. Her falling self esteem was slowly reviving. She saw in those eyes what she had been longing to see. She saw love for herself, for every element of her body that she disposed at the idea of being the perfect bride. She felt like the most beautiful person again, the most beautiful bride like she always wished to look like. No, it wasn’t the groom reassuring her, a male approval wasn’t where her self worth came from. It was her own image, her own not so perfect self now staring back at her and she loved every bit of it. She saw in the mirror herself in the way she always once saw and had forgotten it all, in the urge to match the stereotype – perfect mannequin figure. She realized how wrong she was, taking down every filter that marred her sight, trashing every magazine that told her otherwise. Quickly taking back control, she stood up looking into the mirror one last time and whispered, ‘I DO’ to herself, professing self love before she walked down as a bride, gleefully smiling and caring a damn for the world.

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beauty

A sip of beautyPhotography: The Mister

 

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45 Comments

  • Reply Nandini May 2, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Loved this post, and I feel that it’s so important to acknowledge self-love. We all get too caught up in what others think to ever put our happiness first. Well-written 🙂

  • Reply Veena May 2, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    I cannot tell how much I loved this post. The write up just explained what I was going through when I became bride. At the end, I just loved myself. You look stunning….. the lehenga, the dress and the pictures are breathetaking. I loved this a lot. You are very beautiful Swati.

    http://www.knowingmystyle.com/collaboration/make-this-summer-exciting-by-visiting-these-places

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:22 pm

      Aww Veena! Thank you so much babe! I’am so glad you overcame the feelings that pulled you down, that’s what is more important! Thank you so much for appreciating my effort!

  • Reply Monika May 2, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    Beautiful beautiful beatifiul beautiful!! Ah the write up just tugs at your heart.. The pressure brides all over the world go through is so insane! We forget the essence of marriage and it ends up being a self loathing event.. Oh Swati I can’t begin to describe how much I loved what you wrote !! Thank you for creating something so beautiful. You look breathtaking in the lehenga. Every expression is making the pics come alive. ❤️

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:20 pm

      Thank you so so much Monika!I didn’t know how this would come across, I’am glad it did in a positive way! It’s so inspiring to know that people can relate to my writing and can truly understand the intention behind it. It’s important to put across a message that we girls are made up of lot more than just a face and body! 🙂

  • Reply Sneh May 3, 2016 at 2:38 am

    You look so gorgeous…. nice simple elegant look!!!

  • Reply Rajeev Moothedath May 3, 2016 at 3:21 am

    Nice…

  • Reply Karthik Linga May 3, 2016 at 7:11 am

    You looks great !! Nice to see you in different style. Red color saree gives you more color and bright too. But photo shoot…

  • Reply Kavya May 3, 2016 at 8:58 am

    Beautiful post, Swati. So poignant and relatable, so wonderful to see these words out there! I’m sharing this with my friends who are getting married. For many brides, it has always been the physical aspect they struggle with. Honestly – I think women put too much pressure on themselves. It’s your day, enjoy it. Stop worrying so much. Laugh and love. This post is a great message for all ladies getting married out there!!
    You look absolutely gorgeous and elegant in this outfit. Beautiful outfit on you. And great pictures as always! Have a wonderful week ahead babe! 🙂

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      Thank you soo much Kavya! I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that you can relate to my words and it’s good to know that we all have gone through this at some point or the other and we overcame it 🙂

  • Reply Sabina May 3, 2016 at 11:20 am

    Is this you?
    So beautiful 🙂

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:14 pm

      Thank you so much Sabina! Hahah yes it’s me! 🙂

  • Reply Nischita May 3, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Swati, I can’t tell you how much I loved this post! Stunning you and a beautiful message! As I always say ‘love the way you write’ :).. Beautifully captured and loved your makeup. Hugs

    Nischita | http://www.myblackskirt.com

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:14 pm

      Aww Nish thank you so much babe!You know how much I appreciate your comments:)

  • Reply Amrita May 3, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Interesting reflections.And so very true.Your pictures are beautiful too

  • Reply Ekta khetan May 4, 2016 at 3:20 am

    This is soooo pretty and lovely…I am hooked to your post 🙂

    keep updating 🙂

  • Reply Kusum May 4, 2016 at 9:56 am

    Awww what a beautiful and powerful message, Swati! There is just so much pressure from the outside as well as self-inflicted pressure to look and act perfect, but reality is far from it. People often forget that it is not how you look and what you wear but it is how you feel and how much you live in the moment, especially on your big day! I myself was a victim of such snarky remarks and what not, but thankfully for me I never pay attention to such negativity around me and let that get to me.
    And your pictures are breathtakingly beautiful, that lehenga is simple and gorgeous! My favorite pic is the one of you behind the door, such lovely expressions too.
    xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:12 pm

      Thank you soo much Kusum! I can’t agree more, on a special day like this one, it’s so important to feel happy from the inside and not succumb to the pressure around you.I’am glad you overcame these things yourself Kusum, I feel touched when people can relate to what I write, thank you 🙂

  • Reply Len Parent May 4, 2016 at 11:44 am

    Amazing look darling. You are super FLAWLESS! Happy Wednesday!
    much love, Len
    http://www.lenparent.com

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      Thank you so much Len, you’re the sweetest! 🙂

  • Reply Emily May 4, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    This gave me chills!! Such a beautiful post. I never struggled with my image more than when I was leading up to being a bride. I did feel truly beautiful that day, but not without effort. Really beautiful words, Swati! And such beautiful pictures!! You look stunning.

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      Aww Emily! Thank you so much, I can’t tell you it’s so heart warming to get such comments on something you strongly believe in! 🙂

  • Reply Richa Kamal May 6, 2016 at 6:32 am

    This is such a heartwarming post Swati.
    I remember almost breaking down when the marriage arrangements were not going the way I wanted it to be. But then I had to remind myself why I am doing this.
    You are so artistic in your writing and pictures. You are a true Indian beauty.
    Love reading your posts.
    Richa | Fancier’s World

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:08 pm

      Thank you Richa! When people connect with what I write I can’t tell you how happy that makes me feel! I’am so glad you overcame this hurdle Richa in your own way! Kudos!:)

  • Reply Amlan Chakraborty May 6, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    Like the post

  • Reply Harivaindaran May 7, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    I wonder how much of you there is in that lovely writing… If there is a strong reflection then I say kudos to you for allowing yourself to love you, every line, crack and stretch mark of you!

    • Reply Swati Dixit May 7, 2016 at 1:06 pm

      Hey Hari! Thank you so much! Most of the times I try to write about things that I strongly believe in or feel emotionally connected with, this is something I’ve seen and felt around me and inside of me too. It’s probably not easy to put a strong face when you’re crumbling inside, but I guess that’s what life’s all about! 🙂

  • Reply goldiesbeautyq May 9, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    Oh my! Swati! You have a way with words my friend. Beautiful! You look stunning in your gorgeous lehenga. ? Jaw dropping! I am speechless… ?

  • Reply Style Tomes May 10, 2016 at 1:53 pm

    You look absolutely stunning, and I love the beautiful words! I wish every woman can look in the mirror and declare her love for herself whether she’s a bride or not. 🙂
    xo
    N
    Style Tomes ||ST on IG

  • Reply Tivoli May 18, 2016 at 12:07 am

    LOVED your post, Swati! It’s so true about women being objectified and caring so much what others think. Such sensitive beings we are. And I feel like we put that pressure on ourselves quite a bit in our lives and it’s so unnecessary. It’s so important to say ‘I do’ to ourselves everyday and practice self love not caring a damn about the world every single day. Keep the fantastic writing going lovely! <3 <3

  • Reply Ankita Miharia May 18, 2016 at 9:45 pm

    I love that lehenga, your expressions and the article. Very well written. I am sure every bride has been there and I love your emphasis on the fact that confidence comes from within. Keep going 🙂
    http://peacheswithpearls.com/2016/05/18/europark-hotel-barcelona/

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    with Regards,
    http://tulsisilks.co.in/shop-by-collection/kanjivaram-silks.html

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    🙂 🙂

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